Posts tagged ‘Where There Is Light’

Where There Is Light – Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

yogananda

Friendship

There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. Very few persons are free from self-centeredness. Yet one can develop the quality of unselfishness very easily if he practices thinking of others first.

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You cannot attract true friends without removing from your won character the stains of selfishness and other unlovely qualities. The greatest art of making friends is to behave divinely yourself—to be spiritual, to be pure, to be unselfish….The more your human shortcomings drop away and divine qualities come into your life, the more friends you will have.

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True friendship consists in being mutually useful in offering one’s friend good cheer in distress, sympathy in sorrow, advice in trouble, and material help in times of real need….One who has given his friendship to another gladly foregoes selfish pleasures or self-interest for the sake of his friend’s happiness, without consciousness of loss or sacrifice, and without counting the cost.

Where There Is Light – Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

yogananda

Friendship

Friendship is God’s trumpet call, bidding the soul destroy the partitions of ego-consciousness that separate it from all other souls and from Him.

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Friendship is the purest form of God’s love because it is born of the heart’s free choice and is not imposed upon us by familial instinct. Ideal friends never part; nothing can sever their fraternal relationship.

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The treasure of friendship is your richest possession, because it goes with you beyond this life. All the true friends you have made you will meet again in the home of the Father, for real love is never lost.

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When perfect friendship exists either between two hearts or within a group of hearts in a spiritual relationship, such friendship perfects each individual.

Where There Is Light

yogananda

CHAPTER 11

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

 Marriage

when two people feel an unconditional attraction for each other, and are ready to sacrifice for one another, they are truly in love.

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To wish for perfection for the loved one, and to feel pure joy in thinking of that soul, is divine love; and that is the love of true friendship.

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Meditate together every morning, and especially at night….Have a little family altar where both husband and wife, and children, gather to offer deep devotion unto God and unite their souls forever in ever-joyous Cosmic Consciousness….The more you meditate together, the deeper your love for one another will grow.

Where There Is Light

yogananda

CHAPTER 11

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

 Marriage

Those who practice a natural—not forced—moderation in their sex life develop other enduring qualities in the husband-wife relationship: friendship, companionship, understanding, mutual love. For example, Madame Amelita Galli-Curci and her husband, Homer Samuels, are the greatest lovers I have met in the West. Their love is beautiful because they practice these ideals of which I speak. When parted even for a short time, they eagerly look forward to seeing each other again, to being in each other’s company, to sharing their thoughts and love.

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Every individual needs a period of aloneness or solitude in order to cope with the increasing pressures of life….Do not encroach upon one another’s independence.

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When the husband serves the wife, and she serves him, each with the desire to see the other happy, Christ Consciousness–God’s loving Cosmic Intelligence that permeates every atom of creation–has begun to express itself through their consciousness.

Where There Is Light

yogananda

CHAPTER 11

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

 Marriage

People who want to marry should first have to learn to control their emotions. Two people placed together in the arena of marriage without this training battle worse than opponents in a World War! Wars, at least, come to an end after a time; but some marital partners engage in combat throughout life. You would think that in a civilized society people should know how to get along, but few have learned this art. A marriage should be nurtured on high ideals and the wine of God’s inspiration; then it will be a happy and mutually beneficial union.

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If husbands and wives who are accustomed to using each other for target practice, using bullets of wrathful language and discourtesies, would try instead to entertain each other with the soul-solacing charm of kind words, they would then create a new happiness in family life.

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Sex has its place in the marital relationship between man and woman. But if it becomes the supreme factor in that relationship, love flies out the door and disappears completely; in its place come possessiveness, over-familiarity, and the abuse and loss of friendship and understanding. Though sexual attraction is one of the conditions under which love is born, sex in itself is not love. Sex and love are as far apart as the moon and the sun. It is only when the transmuting quality of true love is uppermost in the relationship that sex becomes a means of expressing love. Those who live too much on the sex plane lose their way and fail to find a satisfying marital relationship. It is by self-control, in which sex is not the ruling emotion, but only incidental to love, that husband and wife can know what real love is. In this modern world, unfortunately, love is too often destroyed by overemphasis on sex experience.

Where There Is Light

yogananda

CHAPTER 11

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

 Marriage

The greatest thing a husband or wife can wish for the spouse is spirituality; for soul unfoldment brings out the divine qualities of understanding, patience, thoughtfulness, love. But each should remember that the desire for spiritual growth cannot be forced on the other. Live love yourself, and your goodness will inspire all your loved ones.

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Unless married couples keep in mind the true high purpose of marriage, they may never enjoy a really happy life together. Oversexuality, too much familiarity, lack of courtesy, suspiciousness, insulting speech or acts, arguing before children or guests, crankiness, and unloading of troubles or anger on one’s mate should be disallowed if marriage is to be ideal.

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The first and most essential requirement for a happy marriage is soul unity—similarity of spiritual ideals and goals, implemented by a practical willingness to attain those goals by study, effort and self-discipline. Couples who possess soul unity will be able to make a success of marriage even if no other desirable basis is present.

The second requirement for a happy marriage is similarity of interest—intellectual, social, environmental, and so on.

The third, and last in imporant (though usually given first place by unenlightened people), is physical attraction. That bond soon loses its attractive power if the first requirement, or the first and second requirements, are not also present.

Where There Is Light

yogananda

CHAPTER 11

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships

 Marriage

Two persons who unite their lives to help each other toward divine realization are founding their marriage on the right basis: unconditional friendship.

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To develop pure and unconditional love between husband and wife, parent and child friend and friend, self and all, is the lesson we have come on earth to learn.

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True marriage is a laboratory in which poisons of selfishness, bad temper, and bad behavior may be poured into the test tube of patience and neutralized and changed by the catalytic power of love and constant effort to behave nobly.

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If there is a habit or quality in your mate that rouses unlovely traits in your disposition, you should realize the purpose of this circumstance: to bring to the surface those poisons hidden within you so that you may eliminat them and thus purify your nature.